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notturnitoThe night their local townsfolk kill the Pei County magistrate and open the gates for Liu Bang’s rebel group, Liu Bang crawls into Xiao He’s lap as the latter is parsing through administrative documents left behind by the previous magistrate. It effectively stops his actions.
Liu Bang does not need him to do much; he is still brimming with alertness from their earlier stint, from the sharp thrill of “Fuck, we survived this. We’re really joining the rebellion now. We’re—we’re up against Qin Er Shi now.” and “Xiao He and Cao Shen are alive, thank whatever deity is in heavens.” The need to make sure Xiao He is still here overpowers him, that he doesn’t mind Xiao He’s tired, sluggish thrusts as they touch and move against each other with a familiarity that only comes after being together for years.
More often than not, Liu Bang thinks that they’re both insane. He- well, he knows himself. With Xiao He, he used to think his friend was only slightly insane by virtue of association. After that selection of the new local magistrate, though, seeing Xiao He eat the remaining pieces of paper that did not contain Liu Bang’s name makes him think that his friend conceals madness rather too well.
Speaking of the Duke of Pei, how can Xiao He think that Liu Bang suits that sort of position?
“You fear neither Heaven nor Earth,” Xiao He lightly says in response, when Liu Bang brings that up, eyes crinkled from that easy smile of his. “Why should you fear this as well?”
They are tangled together as they lay on the wooden mat of the magistrate’s office, sweaty and naked and in the slight danger of Cao Shen, Xiahou Ying, and maybe even Fan Kuai discovering them like this. They don’t seem to care enough about that possibility.
Liu Bang scoffs.
“You’re this fearless person’s right hand man. Now you tell me, do you also give no shit about everything?”
Xiao He gives him a sweet smile.
“As our Duke of Pei County says,” he slyly prods, reminding Liu Bang of his newly-acquired position, “Xiao He is your person. Should I fear Heaven or Earth when I follow you?”
Ignoring the slight warmth curling in his chest at that answer, Liu Bang annoyedly mutters. “Wait until the other rebel leaders see an illiterate peasant acting like a lord. Wait until you have to read and tell me whatever they’re writing in those documents again. Maybe then you’ll be scared.”
Xiao He, gentlemanly Xiao He, takes Liu Bang’s hand, before he presses a soft kiss to the scarred skin of Liu Bang’s knuckle. It’s left behind there from an infection he got in Mount Mangdang, when Liu Bang was still hiding with 300 other convicts instead of facing their deaths at the Great Wall from breaking the Qin law.
“Writing and reading are all learnable skills,” he murmurs, before he looks up and catches Liu Bang’s eyes. His gaze is filled with deep conviction, a softness that still turns Liu Bang’s heart sour at such sight. “But Liu Ji, your bravery, audacity, your everything—no one can ever learn to become you, or even to come close. Xiao He is glad to have survived, and to be by your side at the moment.”
Blah, blah, pretty words, are what Liu Ji wants to say, but something—like a lump, forms in his throat.
Instead, he lets his rough thumb rest on Xiao He’s cheek and he allows himself to drink his fill in Xiao He’s tender gaze.
Pei County was a piss-poor region which could not even be changed by Qin’s iron-fisted rule. From the time Old Sir Liu was a horny teenager when Qin was unified until Old Madame Liu gave birth to Liu Bang, Pei County’s townsfolk knew too well that not even dynasty change could feed their sons’ empty stomachs.
That’s how Liu Bang grew up: a charming—supposedly—village ruffian who loafed around and marshaled fights against people from the neighboring village whenever they blocked the water supply. Apparently, he’s good enough at whatever he’s doing that he got appointed the chief officer of Sishui Pavillion.
With Xiao He being the magistrate’s secretary, it was no wonder that they both got close. Rather intimately close. Out of all villagers, both women and men, that Liu Bang had ever bedded, he was more of a lover to Xiao He than with anyone else.
This did not change even when he married Lü Zhi.
Liu Bang suspected that she knew the nature of his relationship with Xiao He, but Lü Zhi seemed to understand. In any case, this was only a marriage of convenience to her—one she only agreed to in order to stave off her other unwanted, relentless suitor.
Still, what he had with Xiao He was not a red-stringed fate. It’s not a burning thrill that Liu Bang always finds himself chasing after. And, love? Is that more important than seeing his brother-in-arms happy and content, even under Qin rule?
Liu Bang joins Xiang Liang’s rebellion after becoming the Duke of Pei.
He is not the one who had that idea first in mind—Xiao He was—but he knows it is needed despite the bullshit he’s pulled in Mount Mangdang with supposedly being the Red Emperor’s son (“The direction of wind has changed now that Zhao Gao allows Zhang Han in the battlefield. We need to join Grand General Xiang’s side; at least, then, we will receive reinforcements when we need it”). Having reinstated King Huai to the throne of Chu, Xiang Liang’s camp has more legitimacy in gaining power than a petty nobody who claims their supposed lineage to a mythical creature. So, restoring Chu state’s glory, it is.
Though, Liu Bang has to admit this: he never thought that he would be working so close to a fancy aristocrat, moreover for a so-called noble cause. If fucking up Qin is noble, that is. Liu Bang honestly just wants to get back at those bastards for the entire grief he has to go through—escorting his own townsfolk to the death sentence that is the First Emperor’s Mausoleum; Mount Mangdang.
Xiang Liang is warm and welcoming to them, though out of all the great noblemen in that military tent, it’s not him who catches Liu Bang’s eyes.
It’s Xiang Yu.
Even with his persisting sullen air and hair unwashed for days, Xiang Yu looks terrifically handsome in the Chu army’s steel armor, as though a war deity taking human form. Liu Bang feels Xiang Yu’s eyes scour over his own raggedy clothing, feels the emanating disdain from the latter at the sight, though he doesn’t feel embarrassed by it. Not everyone can afford steel armor, and certainly not even the Duke of Pei County.
Xiao He takes a look at him taking a look at Xiang Yu, and he figures everything out.
“So,” Xiao He later says to him, in the secrecy of their own smaller tent. “Grand General Xiang’s nephew?”
“What about him?”
Xiao He levelly stares at Liu Bang. Do you truly need me to say the rest?
Well, two can play this game, so Liu Bang returns the stare with one of his own. They keep staring at each other as though they were a pair of hotheaded children instead of a general of Xiang Liang’s camp and his logistics manager. Liu Bang relents in the end, because he has to confess something.
“Okay, fine, he is gorgeous. I have eyes! We all can look at his perfect body. But if you mean that I’m going to do something about it… I won’t, Xiao-daren.” Liu Bang sighs. “Though I am more than willing to sleep with noblemen, I do need to be on good terms with Grand General Xiang. So, no to sleeping with his sexy nephew. Besides, I don’t think he is into men—there’s Consort Yu, right?”
Xiao He makes a noncommittal hum. The conversation stalls into a steady as Xiao He returns to his calculations and Liu Bang to his own thoughts. Then, Liu Bang gains a realization.
“Xiao-daren, Xiao He,” he peers into Xiao He’s face. “You’re not jealous of Xiang Yu, right?”
Xiao He visibly startles at the question, but he smiles at Liu Bang. “Should I? We’ve never limited ourselves only to each other, after all.”
“Mm, that’s true.” Liu Bang doesn’t think he can do that, in any case.
Belatedly, he realizes that it might be too late for this sort of question, when he’s been sneaking off with Zhang Liang—or just “Zifang-xiong” for him. Xiao He doesn’t seem to mind this, as well, even joining in to watch them during the meager time between battles that they manage to have for themselves.
Liu Bang wonders. “Do you think Xiang Yu truly has feelings for Consort Yu?”
“Not to be disrespectful, my lord,” Xiao He rolls up a bamboo scroll and ties it tight before he unfurls another scroll, “but not all relationships are like yours and Madame Lü.”
“Hm, fair point.”
He does manage to see glimpses of the interaction between Xiang Yu and his lover. For all his volatile temper and the pigheadedness that he displays during war councils, Xiang Yu loves Consort Yu with the same intensity that characterizes Xiang Yu’s entire nature. It charges the air between them; it colors every tender interaction and obvious caring.
Love, huh? Liu Bang has never seen the appeal of such passion directed towards him, before. Seeing that Xiang Yu is capable of showing such emotion besides his usual surliness… that is rather interesting.
Liu Bang and Xiang Yu finally get a chance to work together when Zhang Han attacks Chu’s ally Tian Rong in Donga.
Under Xiang Liang’s command, Liu Bang and Xiang Yu work in tandem—one will rescue Tian Rong, one will attack Qin forces. Knowing Xiang Yu’s offensive power, it goes without saying whose camp does which. It is in this period that Liu Bang sees up close Xiang Yu’s brutal, near-rabid way of fighting.
Near Puyang, they split up forces: with Liu Bang and Xiang Yu’s forces moving west towards Qi state, while Xiang Liang deals with Zhang Han’s stronghold.
It’s the wrong move.
The Qin army receives reinforcement out of nowhere, ambushing Xiang Liang’s forces on all sides. Their vassal state allies are all too useless and too intimidated by Zhang Han’s deadly reputation on the battlefield, looking on without even trying to lift their fingers to help. Xiang Yu is nowhere to be seen. But Liu Bang and his men are fifty kilometers from Dingtao.
Fan Kuai sees Liu Bang’s gaze—and knocks him out before Liu Bang can command his men.
Liu Bang wakes up to the news of Grand General Xiang Liang’s death, as well as Xiang Yu’s incoming forces.
Bad. This is bad. Xiang Yu can’t chew the vassal kings’ heads; for all their cowardice, they are still a valuable ally to the Chu rebels.
However, he surely can chew off Liu Bang’s.
Liu Bang hurries to rip a white cloth and tie the strip on his head—a mourning sash. Then, he orders Cao Shen to whip Fan Kuai. Gently, of course. From Cao Shen’s time working as Pei County’s jailer, he knows where in the body the flesh will heal faster.
He knows that his ruse is working when Xiang Yu comes in with his red-rimmed eyes trained on Fan Kuai’s open whipping. Liu Bang is safe and sound, but he is weeping and mourning while whipping one of his most valuable subordinates. The scenario that plays in Xiang Yu’s head should be that of Liu Bang grieving for being unable to save his uncle, all because his men stopped him before he could go. His mourning, after seeing the vassal states’ cold indifference, should move Xiang Yu’s heart.
This is how they become sworn brothers: through a good man’s death, followed by Liu Bang’s act of self-preservation.
But the oaths are exchanged, We were not born in the same year in the same month on the same day, but we hope to die in the same year in the same month on the same day. Let Heaven and Earth be our witness. There is no taking this back, especially once Xiang Yu tells Liu Bang this:
“Even if we turn against each other, I will never take your life.”
It’s a sweet lie. Liu Bang cherishes it.
It’s too bad that Xiang Yu’s heart does not hold up to his words.
Someone like Xiang Yu only trusts those he can control, and from the beginning, Liu Bang has always been elusive to him. It doesn’t help that their beloved puppet king—King Huai—is trying to reclaim his power following Xiang Liang’s death by pitting Xiang Yu and Liu Bang against each other.
Xiang Yu won another battle? Alright, Liu Ji, I grant you the title of Marquis Wu’an. Xiang Yu wants to attack Qin? Why not make this a race! Liu Ji, why don’t you go against General Xiang? Whoever enters Xianyang first, I’ll make him King of Guanzhong. Sounds good!
When blinded with anger, it’s rather easy to spin Xiang Yu around. In any case, Liu Bang just knows that Xiang Yu has thrown away any notion of their brotherhood to the back of his head. A shame, truly, since Liu Bang would work something out if Xiang Yu was a little more flexible. Sorry, Yu-xiong, but Liu Bang will not hold back as well, then.
Liu Bang arrives in Xianyang first thanks to the combination of wits (Zifang-xiong’s), battle prowess (Fan Kuai and the rest), and sheer good luck (he likes to think that this one is his domain).
Qin's last emperor Ziying comes out in white robes before he hands over the imperial seal. Then, Liu Bang enters the city.
When they reach Epang Palace, Liu Bang and the rest march directly to the harem and the treasure. He notices that Xiao He is scurrying to the chancellor's office instead. Whatever— for now, Liu Bang can enjoy all the women he wants.
At noon on the third day, he finds Zhang Liang standing by his bedside, reading something on an unfurled bamboo scroll. When Zhang Liang notices that Liu Bang is awake, he puts away the scroll, a peaceful smile unfurling instead on his lips.
“You’re awake, my lord,” he says, uncaring of the three naked women curled around Liu Bang. “Apologies for disturbing your rest, however, Zifang must bring something to your attention.”
It’s Liu Bang’s men, robbing and looting the city. Ziying’s surrender effectively abolishes Qin law—hence, this outcome.
It’s not as though he’s nursing a burning grudge over the entirety of Qin like Xiang Yu, and he certainly doesn’t have any personal vendetta against Xianyang citizens. He would handle them, though it should be fine so long as no lives are lost.
He tells Zhang Liang as much.
Zhang Liang doesn’t seem impressed. “Respectfully, my lord, if you truly want to become emperor, I advise my lord to immediately rein in your army’s behavior as soon as possible.
Liu Bang gapes, flabbergasted. “I- what?” Emperor?
“And safeguard everything for General Xiang—pardon, now Grand General Xiang.”
“General Xiang?!”
Zhang Liang stares at him. “News just arrived from Julu, my lord,” he says slowly. “Grand General Xiang has defeated Zhang Han, and with it, buried alive two hundred thousands of his men.”
The words pour over Liu Bang’s head, as sobering as ice water. He sits up immediately, watching Zhang Liang’s guarded face. “Two hundred thousand lives.”
“That is his conviction,” to become King of Guanzhong. No, for power—to become the emperor of this new world. Liu Bang knows as much. “And now, he’s heading towards Xianyang.”
For his head, Liu Bang realizes.
Zhang Liang seems to take his silence as one of understanding. Liu Bang does—understand. He understands that a man who leaves a path of destruction, no matter what, is not one fit to rule. Even if he is a noble.
How would he be different from Qin Shi Huang, then?
So, Liu Bang reins in his men and moves them to Bashang. He seals Epang Palace and its numerous peerless treasures, then he asks Xiao He to document them on top of the Qin intelligence reports that he is copying.
“You know, Zifang-xiong told me to become emperor,” Liu Bang confides to him at some point. “I wonder what’s going on in his head.”
There is silence following his remark. When Liu Bang turns to look, he finds Xiao He deep in thought.
“Why not?” he ponders out loud. “When Chen Sheng led the Dazexiang Uprising against Qin, he asked, ‘Are kings and nobles given their high status by birth?’ When one applies himself, no matter his background, he can be a great man.”
Xiao He turns to Liu Bang, his gaze filled with consideration. “You’ve become Duke of Pei. King Huai has given you a title. Now, you’ve beaten Yu-xiongtai in becoming the King of Guanzhong.” When Liu Bang doesn’t answer, Xiao He smiles. “Where is your usual bravery, Liu Ji? I know you; the empty title of Marquis Wu’an is not enough- not when you will attempt to jump as high as a dragon.”
Emperorship. Liu Bang never thought of it—until now, that is.
Finally, Liu Bang sighs.
“Must I contend with my Yu-ge? I’d rather face him in bed than on the battlefield. But then again, if Yu- ge becomes ruler, would I be the Mizi Xia to his Duke Ling of Wei?”
To praise Xiao He’s self-restraint, he doesn’t even comment on that last remark. “You’re older than xiongtai, Liu Ji.” Silence, then. “You truly want to be his Mizi Xia?”
“Shut up, Xiao-daren. You don’t understand me.”
It’s as though a storm has arrived when Xiang Yu reaches Guanzhong.
Fan Kuai hasn’t opened his loud mouth since the morning, and if even he is tense to the point of being silent, the rest of Liu Bang’s men are no better.
The odd atmosphere lingers with Xiang Yu’s presence. He looks just as divine despite being as rugged and harried as the rest of his men. What worries Liu Bang most is his uncharacteristic silence when he follows Liu Bang to observe the sealed treasury and the offices. Xiang Yu doesn’t even comment on Liu Bang stationing his men in Hangu Pass, nor Xiang Yu’s own men attacking Liu Bang’s forces.
It makes Liu Bang remember the two hundred thousand Qin soldiers, buried alive in Julu.
After Liu Bang leads him to his personal military tent to show that he hasn’t even touched Epang Palace’s bed, Xiang Yu grunts his excuse to leave—something about arranging his men to enter Xianyang—to Liu Bang’s relief.
Before he can let out a huge breath, Xiang Yu turns again to face Liu Bang. His hand shoots out, grasping Liu Bang’s chin in an iron hold, forcing him to meet Xiang Yu’s eyes.
There is a smoldering flame in Xiang Yu’s gaze. Intense. All of that attention directed only to Liu Bang.
He cannot help but gulp, extremely aware that even that slight movement doesn’t go unnoticed by Xiang Yu. For a while, they do not say anything.
When Xiang Yu finally speaks, his voice comes out as a rumble, brought deep from within his chest.
“You and Zhang Liang are to attend the banquet tonight.” When Liu Bang does not immediately answer, Xiang Yu’s eyebrows immediately furrow. “You disagree?”
Liu Bang hurriedly shakes his head, chin still in Xiang Yu’s grip. “Nonono, of course I would be there with Zifang-xiong. It would be an honor, Yu-xiong! Aha, ahahah…”
“Good.”
He leaves Liu Bang with a mixture of feelings. Mostly horny. The rest, he’s piss-scared.
And then Zhang Liang bursts into the tent, fear in his eyes, before he tells Liu Bang about the assassination plot.
And so, there is the death trap that is the banquet.
It’s probably a testament to how scared Liu Bang actually is when he sees the wall of Chu warriors surrounding the seats of honor, their eyes sharp and cold, but all he can feel is just numbness.
This is not like a battlefield, where everyone is equally fighting to come out alive on the other side. This is not like escorting 300 farmers to the Great Wall, where Qin Shi Huang wouldn’t even know who Liu Bang is if the officers in charge decided to sentence him.
This is Xiang Yu, personally escorting Liu Bang to the path of death.
In the future, he will not remember so many details about this night. He only remembers toasting Xiang Yu again and again, acting out his vaguely cobbled together plan of getting Xiang Yu too drunk to actually, well, kill him. He remembers Xiang Yu looking at him in amused disdain, acquiescing only because it doesn’t matter in the end when he kills Liu Bang, anyway.
Another thing he remembers is this: when he escapes by feigning having to go for a piss, he actually gets lost in someone’s garden courtyard before Fan Kuai fetches him.
Another thing he remembers, but never reveals to anyone: Xiang Yu finds him before Fan Kuai does, that night.
He’s drunk, Liu Bang notices once he gets a good look of who’s actually there, standing tall and imposing with his armor. I can try to outrun him. Last ditch effort: maybe I can kick his crotch?
“There you are,” Xiang Yu growls.
Even with the distance, Liu Bang can smell the thick scent of alcohol in his breath. Then Xiang Yu moves—so fast that Liu Bang can’t even find a gap to kick him in the family jewels. Something wet presses against Liu Bang’s mouth, and he realizes that that something is Xiang Yu’s own lips.
He kisses back.
Vaguely in the back of his mind, Liu Bang registers Xiang Yu’s warm palm on the dip of his back. The other palm is on the back of Liu Bang’s head, pressing him into a deeper, more insistent kiss.
Oh. Oh, Liu Bang thought. Drunkard must’ve thought that he is his Consort Yu.
Then Xiang Yu moans, a low guttural sound that makes all the blood in Liu Bang’s body rush south, before he licks at the seam of Liu Bang’s lips. Promptly, Liu Bang’s mind blanks. If kissing your enemy is forbidden, then why make it so enjoyable? Especially when he grinds up his thigh against Xiang Yu and the man lets out the sexiest sounds Liu Bang has ever heard in his life.
When Xiang Yu pulls from their kiss, eyes hazy yet still burning with intent as he gazes into Liu Bang’s eyes, Liu Bang thinks, I want him to look at me forever, just like this. I want him as my man.
At some point, unbelievably, Liu Bang manages to escape Xiang Yu for the second time.
Fan Kuai finds him disheveled and flushed. He immediately asks in concern. “Are you alright, dage? Did they hurt you?”
Liu Bang cannot help but laugh. He feels as though his heart is soaring free.
“More than alright. Now let’s get out of here.”
There is a point after all to Xiao He’s question.
“You truly want to be his Mizi Xia?”
Zhang Liang told him that after Mizi Xia’s looks faded, Duke Ling of Wei cast his lover aside, claiming that the actions that he once so favored were insults to himself instead.
Liu Bang can’t be Xiang Yu’s lover, but if Xiang Yu becomes the emperor later, who’s to say that Liu Bang’s actions—as his subordinate—won’t be turned against him? Who’s to say that the royal tiger he’s keeping company will not bite him back?
So, emperorhood it is. The only path that will most likely keep Liu Bang alive. The only path where he will never have to feel as small, as powerless—ever again.
Xiang Yu burns Xianyang to the ground and banishes King Huai—now the Emperor Yi of Chu.
The Qin Empire is divided into 18 territories, with Xiang Yu their Hegemon of Western Chu. He doesn’t forget to dole out a territory to Liu Bang as well—the uninhabitable Bashu regions which is as effective as banishing him.
Naturally, he doesn’t remember anything between them on the night of the banquet.
It’s alright, Liu Bang thinks, despite Fan Kuai’s complaining (“What sort of sworn brother do you have, really, dage”). This won’t be the last time they will see each other. He will return for Xiang Yu someday.
Liu Bang burns the gallery roads connecting Bashu to the rest of Guanzhong once his men finish crossing the Qinling mountains. Separated by the rift valley and standing on opposite sides, Liu Bang finds Xiang Yu’s eyes. He smiles.
Notes:
mizi xia: the male lover of duke ling of wei (warring states) who got spurned after his looks faded. he once bit into a peach and gave the rest to the duke because it was hella delicious, but later one the duke used this peach thing against mizi xia.
title taken from "ambush on all sides 2" by ai fei & dany lee
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