notturnito | Lifelong [FIC] (Reply)

Title: Lifelong

Fandom: Pulling Together a Villain Reformation Strategy

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Jiang Xunyi/Yun Xie

Warnings: canon compliant, pre-canon, a bit spoilery for future chapters, pining (from yun xie, as always)
Notes: for bagel-ge. happy belated birthday. smooch. there are some minor spoilers all around but mostly this is just about pining and yun xie.

"I was just wondering, if we can be like those mandarin ducks too. You and me, together forever."

"Of course we will."

It's a bright day.

The middle of spring is arriving soon—it colors the air with something pleasant, lessening the freeze of winter's last remnants while not carrying the stickiness of summer. The sun is not shining too strongly. Yun Xie can even smell the waft of floral carried by the breeze when he hears flappings, and then a splash.

He turns towards the lake. Two mandarin ducks float on the water's surface, side-by-side. The male one is having his beak on the female's neck, as though grooming.

Yun Xie halts his steps.

"Why are you stopping?" Jiang Xunyi asks, from beside him.

When Yun Xie turns to look, Jiang Xunyi's gaze has already landed on the two ducks on the lake. He directs his cold, unimpressed stare at Yun Xie, then. "Really? This?"

Yun Xie doesn't know either, to be honest. His feet stop as though rooted to ground, as though something compelled him to do so. The female duck now returns the male's previous affections, running her beak on the male's neck side, as the male then shakes his head for several times.

Yun Xie grins, "Why, isn't it a lovely day, Ah-Xun? Shouldn't we enjoy a bit the view on the side?"

They have just finished a mission, one city away from Solar Envy Sect. A small fry demonic sect uprising. It's a laughably easy opponent to deal with, them only needing half a day to track the sect and destroy them to their roots. Yun Xie doesn't even understand the need to deploy Dual Jades for this.

Jiang Xunyi snorts. "Enjoy seeing mating ducks?"

When Yun Xie looks, he is staring at him with an eyebrow raised, eyes sharp even under the glow of this soft sunlight. His expression is cold and arrogant, typical, combined with the small smile tucking the corner of his lips. For a moment, Yun Xie can't even find any word for rebuttal. Ah-Xun has taken all of that away.

He sees Jiang Xunyi's expression shift, that arrogance into something more like annoyed, the eyebrow raised even further and his forehead scrunched— Yun Xie wets his lips.

"How do you even know they're mates, Ah-Xun? Perhaps they're simply friends."

Jiang Xunyi rolls his eyes, "If you can think of ways ducks can have relationship, maybe you should think of ways you can repair your head."

"How cruel, Ah-Xun! This slave is hurt, truly hurt!"

Jiang Xunyi snorts again, “Then perish.”

“What a cruel life it is to be in Young Master Jiang’s household,” Yun Xie half-wails, and dodges a kick aimed to his side. He grins. “But alas, Xunyi-gege, this servant will always stick by your side, like pickles to main dishes, like bees to flowers, like-”

From the corner of his eye, he notices the mandarin ducks again.

Like a happy, loyal couple, Yun Xie thinks. Just like those ducks.

A sudden pang on his chest makes him almost unable to dodge another kick to his side. He exclaims, “Jiang Xunyi! You barbarian!”

"Be consistent," Jiang Xunyi heartlessly says, obviously referring to how Yun Xie had called him "gege" one time and "barbarian" the next.

But that's what he loves from Ah-Xun, really.

Yun Xie stills.

Ah. That's true.

He… likes Jiang Xunyi.

It hasn't been very long since that incident in the flower house—where he and Ah-Xun both had infiltrated there, in courtesan clothes, and he had stumbled across the scene that made him realize the true extent of his feelings towards Jiang Xunyi. It was… it is liberating, finally having a name for that feeling. That whereas as opposed to being with other people, being with Jiang Xunyi feels….

It feels as though the flowers can bloom every day, lining their pathways with blessings and tenderness. As though the rain can fall at any moment, and he can still enjoy it if they can watch together its stillness. As though the world can turn its back against them, and Yun Xie will still find it in himself to fight back, against the world, against fate, against Heavens, as long as Jiang Xunyi is there, fighting beside him.

"Yun Xie?"

Slowly, Yun Xie's mind returns to present.

Jiang Xunyi is looking at him with slight worry, eyebrows furrowed. This rare display of concern… it makes Yun Xie's chest tighten. He wants to keep every moment of Jiang Xunyi locked inside his chest, to treasure. To keep Jiang Xunyi safe too, from harm.

"Did you get poisoned?" Jiang Xunyi's nose slightly scrunches, as he peers into Yun Xie's face. "Snap out of it, what is it?"

Ah. Being cared for like this, it feels so, so good. It's the best feeling ever in the world.

Yun Xie grins, wide. "Nothing, just… hm, does Ah-Xun have bread? Let's feed the ducks to spend time a bit."

"What is with you and these ducks? Do you owe them something in a goddamn past life? Do you feel a kinship with them?"

Yun Xie laughs. "So eager to come back soon, Ah-Xun? We can still report to the city master at nightfall about the mission." Then he teases, "But if Ah-Xun truly wants to know what this gege is thinking…."

Jiang Xunyi turns away. "Not interested. I'm leaving."

Yun Xie laughs again. He lets his head turn again towards the ducks. It's truly a nice day, despite having dealt with a demonic sect earlier at noon. The wind drifts past again, lulling him. Unbiddenly, the words come out on its own.

"I was just wondering…," the pair of ducks has floated to another side of the lake, still side-by-side, sticking together. "If we can be like those ducks too. You and me, defeating demons and fighting off troublesome things, together forever."

Together forever.

He hears Jiang Xunyi stop in his tracks. When Yun Xie looks up, their gazes meet, as Jiang Xunyi peers over his shoulders. His expression is unreadable to Yun Xie from this angle.

Jiang Xunyi finally turns back. He is frowning, Yun Xie notes. "Of course we will," he says. “What’s gotten into you? Are you sick?”

Yun Xie stares.

At this response, Jiang Xunyi sighs, and approaches. Up close then, Yun Xie is unable to escape Jiang Xunyi’s gaze, sharp and piercing, steady and true.

“Listen to me, Yun Xie," Jiang Xunyi says. "No matter what you do, no matter what you think, I will always stay. If we have to wade through seas of fire, then so be it. If we have to push ourselves through tribulations after tribulations, fine.”

He looks into Yun Xie’s eyes for a while. “Understand? Do I have to make an oath for this?”

Even if they have to wade through seas of fire. Even if they have to push through twenty or even a hundred of tribulations.

No matter what he does. No matter Yun Xie thinks. Even if they have to go against fate itself.

Yun Xie can't help but stare again for a while, before he shakes his head.

“No, I know you.”

Jiang Xunyi's words are oaths on their own. In his intentions, there lies only truth.

This, Yun Xie knows better than anyone.

“Good.” Jiang Xunyi nods in satisfaction. “Now get your head out of the gutter. If we get back soon maybe we can see around the stalls you’ve whining at me.”

… Ah, Ah-Xun… is truly….

Yun Xie clings. “Ah-Xun is the beeest. This slave is truly indebted, truly! Will never stop serving Young Master Jiang’s household for a lifetime-”

He removes his hold as Jiang Xunyi snorts, narrowly being kicked by a strong leg.

“Sorry," Jiang Xunyi says, eyes twinkling, bright as the stars. "I’ve been sold to Cheng-shibo’s son. If he allows, maybe he will permit me to bring you into his household.”

Yun Xie laughs.

He likes Ah-Xun so very much.

"It doesn't matter, Ah-Xun." Yun Xie grins. "Wherever you go, I will follow." And it's true.

If there is a time where Yun Xie will try to even harm Jiang Xunyi, then perhaps it isn't even "Yun Xie" any longer.

Jiang Xunyi snorts again, turning his back against him. "Greasy."

The wind is gentle as Yun Xie watches Jiang Xunyi walk first along the path to their inn, his hair ornaments swayed by the breeze.

He can feel his heart soaring. I’d do anything for him. I’d destroy the world for him. How laughable it is that he hadn't figured it out by himself, when even with other things along the line, Yun Xie's bottomline is still Jiang Xunyi.

It suddenly makes sense. He likes Ah-Xun.

Still, there are many things that can go wrong with this. He hasn't even tried to think of how Jiang Xunyi will react if he knows. If Yun Xie even tries to tell.

… Yun Xie doesn't want to think about that yet.

For now, he is content if they remain this way—being allowed to protect him, being allowed to stay beside Jiang Xunyi.

Together forever.

For Yun Xie, for now, that is enough.

"Yun Xie?"

"What is it, Ah-Xun?"

When Yun Xie doesn't get an answer, he looks up in alarm. Jiang Xunyi is not looking at him however, though his expression is tense. Almost… hesitant.

"... just," Jiang Xunyi then turns, towards Yun Xie.

"If you did something you regret against me, just… remember. It's not you."

Yun Xie stares. "Ah-Xun?"

"It's not you, alright?"

Yun Xie stares again, searching into Jiang Xunyi's face.

"... alright."

He trusts Jiang Xunyi, after all.

There is no together forever.

How is it a promise can be broken so easily? A swing of the wrist. One precise movement. A direct plunge of blade to the chest. And that is all that it takes.

"Ah-Xun…."

Droplets of tears fall onto the smooth surface of that jade-like face. Hugging tighter the rapidly cooling body, so Yun Xie breathes out the name.

"Ah-Xun…."